When Healing Begins, the Hiding Stops

For years, I moved through life on autopilot, surviving, reacting, and burying the feelings I didn’t know how to handle. I never realized how disconnected I was from myself until I finally became self-aware. And once that awareness hit… it changed everything.

Healing isn’t just about moving forward.
It’s about turning around and facing everything you tried to outrun.

Lately, I’ve been unboxing thoughts and memories I spent years stuffing into dark corners of my mind, moments I’m not proud of, people I’ve hurt, choices I made out of fear, pain, or emotional survival.

And it’s uncomfortable.
It’s heavy.
But it’s also necessary.

“Hurt People Hurt People” — And I Was One of Them

I used to roll my eyes at that saying. It felt like a cliché or an excuse.
But now, standing here in a place of self-awareness, I finally understand it.

I hurt people not because I was cruel…
but because I was hurting.
Because I didn’t know myself.
Because I didn’t know how to regulate my emotions.
Because I didn’t know what healing even looked like.

Accepting this truth doesn’t erase the pain I caused, but it helps me understand why I acted the way I did. And healing requires honesty.

Sitting With the Parts of Myself I Once Avoided

Opening these boxes from the past feels like opening old wounds.
Sometimes, when I look back at the younger version of myself, all I want is for someone to hold her. To tell her she wasn’t a bad person… she was just lost, overwhelmed, and surviving the only way she knew how.

Self-awareness is beautiful, but it is also brutal.
It forces you to face your shadows.
To acknowledge the harm you created while you were drowning.
To stop running from the truth of who you were.

This is the part of healing most people don’t talk about.

Forgiving Myself Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

I’m learning that self-forgiveness isn’t about erasing the past.
It’s about understanding it.

It’s about saying:
• Yes, I messed up.
• Yes, I hurt people.
• Yes, I could have done better.
• And yes, I’m committed to doing better now.

Healing means giving compassion to the version of myself who didn’t know any better, and choosing to grow into someone who does.

This Is What Peace in Progress Looks Like

Not perfection.
Not pretending.
Not polished healing quotes and peaceful mornings.

It’s raw.
It’s messy.
It’s real.

Peace in progress means:
• Facing your truth
• Owning your story
• Showing up for yourself
• Breaking patterns instead of repeating them
• Holding space for your past without letting it define your future

I’m still learning.
Still unboxing.
Still growing.
Still healing.

But today, I’m not hiding anymore.
And that, for me, is the beginning of peace.